Saturday, April 10, 2010

after literally months of internal debate

I realize that some of my friends and family read this blog - when I have updated it- but this post is just going in as a record of a part of my life (just as the rest of the blog has been - kind of my journal)
so no sympathy required, I'm just writing this in here as a reminder to myself when I read it next year or several years from now... so be forewarned, this is my pity-party. so if you don't want to hear it you should really skip this post. I mean you REALLY should skip it.








my online store is going to fade away.
I just really can't keep setting myself up to fail. so just in case I forget and try again, let me just remind me.
I know a few people who have stores on the same site as I do and they are enormously successful. I'm happy for them. it's really wonderful that they have been able to find something that they can do well that can serve them so kindly in return. I wish I could be so wonderful. it's just really hard to see their success and their obviously superior skill displayed and snapped up in the same instant and then go back to my sorry little rubbish store and be reminded of just how not great I am...knowing I will never be able to use any of my mediocrity to any advantage.

I'm going to be 36 in a couple of days and there really is no one thing about me that stands out and shines. I still don't really fit anywhere. people like to try to tell me different, but I don't believe them.... I don't count cooking as a talent... everyone can cook, I can't sing, I'm so so not pretty and despite the generic 'you're a great mom' placation I'm really not.
I've never really felt special (except for when mom was here). so I guess this (no store) will just be one less reminder of that nothing specialness.

2 comments:

Anita said...

I hear you! There are so many times I go through this same thought process! I hate talent shows and things like that because I always feel like I have nothing to contribute. I've thought about starting a store on Etsy to sell baby blankets and burp cloths but then I figure that nobody would ever buy them. There are a TON of other baby blankets out there, why would anyone choose mine? I also figure that I'm too cheap to buy things that aren't "necessities" so why would I expect someone else to buy my stuff when they could make it for cheaper. I feel exceptionally "unspecial" most of the time, too, so please don't feel like you're alone in this. I know we aren't the only two people either. It IS very frustrating and depressing, though. I think you're very talented. I certainly couldn't make any of those things you make. My sister tried to teach me to crochet and knit. It was hugely unsuccessful.

Unknown said...

I am reminded that we are created in God's image, and he does NOT make junk. Everyone is precious and important. We all have special talents and skills, that is what makes us unique. The enemy is always trying to convince us that we are not important or worthy, that is a bold face lie. We are a child of the most high God, who sent his son to die for us. If God and Jesus think you're important enough to sacrifice Jesus's life on the cross, who are we to argue?

Thomas Edison found over 8,000 ways to not make a light bulb before he discovered one that worked.

Harland David Sanders: Perhaps better known as Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, Sanders had a hard time selling his chicken at first. In fact, his famous secret chicken recipe was rejected 1,009 times before a restaurant accepted it.

Everyone that Lynn as shown the little hats to rave about how cute they are. You have talent.

almost 2 years have gone by

why do I always do this? so many things have happened in the past two years.  I just feel so silly that I haven't kept up on the blog.  ...