the end of my year

I know. I need to update the blog.  I just have not had much time for it at all - between snuggling Kellan, feeding Kellan, pumping to try to get my supply to meet the needs of Kellan, taking medicine to help my milk supply, giving Kellan medicine for thrush that just refuses to go away, etc., my time is pretty well spent.  it's tricky enough to make time for the rest of my children and my husband.  but I have to remind myself often that this time is short.  it won't be long before Kellan is eating solid foods and my supply may finally be enough.  it won't be long before he is crawling and more interested in everything else and less satisfied to sit and cuddle with mamma.  :(   for as much as I am sad and frustrated that my time is so focused on one person right now I am so happy to get to be the one to snuggle and feed him for the huge majority of the day.  thanks to the blessings we have I can be home with and for my precious little ones.


so the end of 2012 is now.  Tim and I have been astounded at how quickly this year has passed by.  it has gone by in a blur.  many things happened this year but we really can't remember much of it. that's probably for the best.  most of it I was pregnant so my brain wasn't working on full capacity anyway.
Connor went to the ER for an abscess in a tooth that we ended up pulling because of the infection.  then I went to the ER at 11 weeks pregnant in so much pain I just needed to know that my baby was okay.  turned out I had kidney stones - which kept giving me trouble right up until a week before Kellan was born.  our hot water heater pilot assembly broke.  our refrigerator broke.  the tires on Tim's car needed to be replaced, twice. our van broke down. it was a $4 fix, but we probably spent $30 in gas trying to find the correct piece and it was a really bad, frustrating day for Tim.
Tim was in the hospital for 4 days with an ulcer in September - we prayed and begged the doctor to get him all better in time for Tim to make it to Ronan's first day of kindergarten.  then I was in the hospital and a couple weeks later I went to the hospital, kidneys both times.  then I went to the hospital to deliver Kellan.  (first good trip to the hospital)  and then the new water heater pilot assembly broke.  yep.  broken water heater two times in 2012

*not a dreamy sigh*

Erica got a job at the grocery store in our town.  She's enjoying earning her own money, not enjoying so much covering shifts for all the other kids there that bale on their shift at the last minute. but it's made a good impression on her boss.  

Timothy had a summer job that he enjoyed.  long hours and miserable sweaty heat, several kids in his group quit - a few of which just didn't show up and that's apparently how they let them know they were quitting.  Timothy says "they all knew what the job was going to be before they got the job".  he liked having a pay check so much that he now wants to get a regular job.
I got to be pregnant one more/last time.  I got to feel that delightful miniature human kick and punch and squirm around.  I got to peek in on him via ultrasound. and it was wonderful - as it always is.
we all got to meet a brand new boy in the world and welcome him to our family.  those wonderful moments with our new baby wipe out so much of the frustrating and stressful things that happened to us this year.

but as we close on this year, my day has been an emotional one. 

you see, Kellan had his 2 month well check appointment today.  he got shots and that, all by it's self, makes me emotional.  he had pain and sadness and cried so loud and hard that it made me cry for him.  poor little person.  though I'd much rather he get poked on his leg a few times vs. getting any of those illnesses that the vaccinations help prevent.
then my oldest child is opting to spend the close of this year and the birth of the new year with her good friends.  she is 18 and living her life.  I know that I can't keep her forever but I don't want to have to let go of her.

c'est la vie... such is life. all kids grow up. I did.  I must remember that I don't own her, I just helped her grow up.


Happy New Year, McGinnis family.  please God  bless our next one to be free of so much stress and frustrations.  and Thank you for keeping us this year