time for a new post

I can officially say that I am old. my proof of this being that I am currently sitting here with two therma care strips taped to my back and hip. now if that isn't an indicator that I am an advanced age I don't know what is. :)

several weeks ago my sister asked me if I wanted any of the strawberries she was thinning out of her garden. Absolutely I want them! I brought them home and transplanted them in my largest planter so the rabbits around here would not help themselves and we would not get any berries.
I certainly didn't expect them to do very well for at least another month due to the 'trauma' of being dug up and moved. this morning I looked out the window and could not believe my eyes! I already have blossoms on my strawberries! most of the plants I have now have buds and a couple of open flowers. I am so excited about it.

(pictures to come at a later time)

(also to be pictured at a later time... because she is in school now)

Emma has been so terrible about taking care of her hair. I used to have very very long hair and so I have a bit of an emotional attachment to my daughters long hair. I will be growing it back for sure now that my littlest isn't so little that he will be pulling my hair so much anymore....
back to Emma. when ever it was suggested that she should brush her hair she would instantly mope around and not brush it or would brush the ends and pout over having to take care of her hair. When it came time to wash her hair she would do the same pouting but as soon as I came in to make sure it was getting done properly she would cry or complain that it hurt. what ever! so I was down right fed up with trying to keep her hair in any way nice. so I chopped it all off! instead of having hair down her back she now has hair that is even length with her lovely smile.
she loves her very short hair. and that makes me kind of sad.

hisssssss

I'm 36

after literally months of internal debate

I realize that some of my friends and family read this blog - when I have updated it- but this post is just going in as a record of a part of my life (just as the rest of the blog has been - kind of my journal)
so no sympathy required, I'm just writing this in here as a reminder to myself when I read it next year or several years from now... so be forewarned, this is my pity-party. so if you don't want to hear it you should really skip this post. I mean you REALLY should skip it.








my online store is going to fade away.
I just really can't keep setting myself up to fail. so just in case I forget and try again, let me just remind me.
I know a few people who have stores on the same site as I do and they are enormously successful. I'm happy for them. it's really wonderful that they have been able to find something that they can do well that can serve them so kindly in return. I wish I could be so wonderful. it's just really hard to see their success and their obviously superior skill displayed and snapped up in the same instant and then go back to my sorry little rubbish store and be reminded of just how not great I am...knowing I will never be able to use any of my mediocrity to any advantage.

I'm going to be 36 in a couple of days and there really is no one thing about me that stands out and shines. I still don't really fit anywhere. people like to try to tell me different, but I don't believe them.... I don't count cooking as a talent... everyone can cook, I can't sing, I'm so so not pretty and despite the generic 'you're a great mom' placation I'm really not.
I've never really felt special (except for when mom was here). so I guess this (no store) will just be one less reminder of that nothing specialness.