it was a good service

we had Grandma's funeral this morning. it was a really good service. it was personal and hopeful and it wasn't dreary and depressing like so many funerals I've attended.

there was a moment or two when I had a couple of good sobs but for the most part I was able to hold it together and that was a good thing because Erica, my sisters, my niece and I sang and that's really hard to do when you are crying. I know this from experience.
11 years ago when my Grandma O died and my sisters and I sang for her we got really choked up and it was very difficult to pull it together in order to finish the song.
I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think that it wasn't as emotional and heart breaking to say good-bye to Grandma K, but after 11 years we've become much better at disciplining ourselves, plus we had a good 'counter attack' all set up. at the first sign of a cry during the songs we would pinch either ourselves or the woman closest to us to help focus on the song.
it also helps if you don't think about the words as you sing them and don't look at anyone else.

I will miss grandma, but at the same time I am glad for her. through so many deaths of my own loved ones I have come to realize that the sadness and pain I feel is just me feeling sorry for myself. so I will be happy for Grandma - happy that she is with all her loved ones again.