Friday, March 11, 2011

I've had it with my ugliness

I really hate looking at my daughter wearing all my favorite clothes. I miss my clothes, I miss my pretty little waist line, I miss my beauty.
I know what you are all going to say, but really. I AM UGLY. there really isn't anything you can say to change my mind about that. I don't look the same as I did just 5 years ago. compare me to the most blubbery whale you can find and the whale is the skinny one.
I look in a mirror and don't recognize myself behind that hideous blob.
I am also very sorry that my husband ever has to be seen with me. I suppose that's why we don't go on dates anymore.

so I am working myself up to being anorexic.
that's why there is a weight lose ticker on the sidebar, there at the top right--
I look at this blog fairly often so if I have something in my face reminding me of my failures, I'll be much more likely to shun the evil food.

I've started by cutting out my beloved Dr. Pepper. it hurt me deeply to abandon it. but in the last two weeks I've lost 15 pounds, not that you can notice, or anyone else, as I avoid public appearances as much as possible.

4 comments:

Birrd said...

Weight loss is extremely hard and extremely extremely extremely worth it. It might be easier if we taped pictures of our bottoms to the refrigerator. :)

I'm rooting for you. I lost 100 pounds after I had Bean, so I know you can do it.

Abby said...

thank you

even if I reach my weight goal, it still will not be my ideal weight.
however, it will be a weight that I will be much happier with... for a while.

Anita said...

15 pounds in two weeks just by cutting out the Dr. Pepper??? That's amazing! I totally feel for you. My vice is Diet Dr. Pepper, but I know I would be so much better off without it. I'm just not that strong. Not yet...

Way to go on the loss so far. After I had Logan I lost ALL of my baby weight in the first month. Seriously. Then in the next three years I put on 20 pounds. Not fair, but it's all my own fault. I'm rooting for you, too!!!

Abby said...

I happen to be one of those women who go against every medical book out there when it comes to pregnancy and postpartum weight.

except for when I was pregnant with Erica, I gain 60 lbs with her... the rest of my kids I gained 13 lbs and 20 lbs being pregnant... then during the time I breast feed I gain 20 lbs in the first two months (despite the doctors telling me that nursing a baby makes you burn through that extra weight)
then I can't lose any of that weight until I've been done nursing for about 3 years.

I hate my dumb body

almost 2 years have gone by

why do I always do this? so many things have happened in the past two years.  I just feel so silly that I haven't kept up on the blog.  ...